我是一名911救援调度员
I am a 911 dispatcher .
我的工作职责是接听报警电话
I take emergency calls,
在救护人员赶到现场前对受灾者进行医疗急救指导
offer emergency medical instruction until EMS arrives,
也会派遣军队到需要帮助的地方去
and dispatch units to calls as well
我从事这个工作已经四年了
I've been doing it for about four years,
我听闻过不少你可以想象到的最可怕的事情
and I've heard some of the worst things you can imagine.
这让我深受震撼，我感到精神疲乏，心情哀伤
It takes a toll on you, mentally and emotionally.
一般情况下，我都很擅长应对这种灾后心理创伤
Usually, I'm pretty good at dealing with the aftermath
可是今天，我不得不值16个小时的班
but today I'm on a mandatory 16 hour shift
我筋疲力尽，焦躁不安，简直受够了这一天了
so I'm tired, cranky, and just overall done with today...
可是，你可以想见，就在这个时候，我接到了一个自杀求助电话。
so of course that's when I get a suicide call.
一个未成年的小女孩企图上吊自杀，幸好母亲及时发现，把绳索砍断了
Minor child hung herself, mom discovered her and cut her down.
我已经打电话，调遣了一辆救护车过来
I already have the call over for dispatcher to get the ambo rolling.
女孩的妈妈想给女孩做心脏复苏，我开始一步一步的告诉她当前的急救处理办法
Mom wants to try CPR so I start walking her through the process.
我不知道是因为什么，或许是因为那个女孩正好和我自己的儿子年龄相仿
I don't know if it was because the daughter was my own son's age
也或许是因为那个母亲一直乞求自己的女儿不要离开自己，让我动容
or the way the mother was begging her daughter not to go
又或者是因为她和我一起数着按压心脏的次数时，一边歇斯底里，一边又哽咽着企图克制自己的情绪
or the way she was obviously choking down the hysteria while she counted those compressions with me,
无论如何，这通电话让我完全崩溃了
but this call broke me.
我告诉监管人员我需要休息一下
I told the supervisor I needed a break
这时我才终于从所有电话中脱身，开车到加油站去喝了一杯酒
when I was able to disconnect and drove to the gas station to get a drink.
我把车停在店门口的停车场，静静的坐着，感到自己分崩离析
I was siting in the parking lot in front of the store and I broke down.
我开始哭泣，十分狼狈，我的胸口剧烈起伏，一阵恐慌感压到了我
Ugly crying, chest heaving, panic attack break down.
我开始想象那位母亲经历了什么
And I just kept imagining what that mother was going through.
有人在敲我的车玻璃
Someone knocked on my window
我转头一看，原来是加油站的老板，一个瘦小的老妇人。
and I look over to see the little old woman who owns the gas station.
这个加油站到呼叫中心只有5分钟的车程，因此所有的调度员她都见过很多次。
The store is about 5 minutes from the call center, so all the dispatchers are pretty familiar faces to her.
她示意让我把窗户摇下来，我照做了。
She motioned for me to roll down the window, which I did.
她递给我一只打包纸杯，里面是热巧克力
She handed me a to-go cup of hot chocolate
还有一个装着什么东西的塑料袋
and a plastic bag with stuff in it,
她用一只手托起我的脸，对我说，
cupped my face with one hand and told me
你也要好好的。
"You do good, too.“
如果你无法忘记那些你没法救助的人，就想想那些你救过的人吧！”
Remember the ones you saved when you can't forget the ones you weren't able to."
接着她笑了笑，转身走回了店里。
Then she smiled and walked back into the store.
塑料袋里装着一只双份巧克力碎马芬，一袋瑞典炸鱼片，一包纸巾，还有一罐我最喜欢的功能饮料。
The bag had a double chocolate chip muffin, a bag of Swedish Fish, a pack of tissues, and my favorite energy drink in it.
谢谢你，玛格丽特，谢谢你走到我身边，当我甚至不知道我需要某人靠近我，安慰我的时候。
Thanks, Margaret, for being there when I didn't even know I needed someone to be there.
谢谢你对你的顾客如此熟悉，你知道我为何哭泣，知道自己应该说什么，才能帮我度过难关。
And for remembering your customers so well that you understood why I was crying and knew exactly what to say to help me through it.
也谢谢你给我的安慰零食包。
And thanks for the care package, too.