1.示弱让他们放松警惕
1.Disarm them with your vulnerability
有时让别人舒服的最快方法就是示弱。坐飞机时可以告诉同座的乘客“坐飞机我有点紧张。”
Sometimes the quickest way to make another person comfortable is to be vulnerable yourself. On a flight? Tell your seatmate, “Flying makes me a little nervous.”
2.敢说真话
2. Be brutally honest
我发现诚实最好，因为不浪费任何人的时间。
I find that being honest is best as it doesn’t waste anyone’s time.
3.说别人长得像名人
3. Tell them their celebrity doppelganger
“有人跟你说过你长得像Sophia Vergara吗？”这个说法总是很有效，对方还会说谢谢。
“Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Sophia Vergara? ” This approach is always effective and the person on the receiving end will say thank you.
4.跟他们干杯
4. ‘Cheers’ them
如果你在酒吧想找理由跟别人搭讪，就走过去举起杯说“干杯！”，这招很有效，因为没有威胁性。
If you are in a bar and looking for an excuse to talk to someone, just go up and raise your glass and say “cheers!”This is effective because it’s non-threatening.
5.让他们帮你量尺寸
5. Size them up
人们喜欢别人觉得自己有用，比如购物时问问他们觉得某个尺码合不合适，因为要穿这件衣服的人和对方身材差不多。
People love to be seen as useful. For instance, if you’re shopping ask them what they think of a fit because the person you’re buying for is about their size.
6.谈论一下共同的朋友
6. Ask about a mutual friend
你们被同一个人邀请时共同的朋友是很好的话题，询问“你怎么认识Mike的？”能让你们两个了解对方。
Mutual friends are good conversation starters when you are invited by the same person. Asking “So how do you know Mike? ” allows the two of you to get to know each other.
7.计划一次梦想之旅
7. Plan a dream vacation
询问某个人“如果你明天有一张去世界任何地方的免费票，你会去哪儿？”这是一个了解对方的好方法。
Ask someone “If you got a free ticket to anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?”It’s a great way to learn about them.
8.吓到对方（轻微地）
8. Scare them (just a little)
我最喜欢的一个开场白就是问“你高中吉祥物是什么？”马上就能让对方回忆起童年。然后我再开玩笑说“你知道你刚告诉我你网上安全问题的答案了吗？”人们通常会笑，然后开始跟你聊网上身份盗窃。
One of my favorite conversation starters is asking “What was your high school mascot?” It immediately takes the person back to their childhood. Then I follow up by joking, “You know that you just gave me the answer to one of your online security questions, right?” People usually laugh, often launching into a conversation about online identity theft.
9.重复对方的话
9. Repeat what they said
如果你不知道说什么，就重复你听到的对方所说的话并且表达同情，这让对方感觉被你接受了。
If you don’t know what to say, reflect back what you hear the other person saying and offer compassion. This allows the other person to feel accepted.
10.凑热闹
10. Join the fun
走上前介绍自己，说：“你们看起来很热闹，所以我想过来打个招呼！”这很有效，因为能展现你的自信和魅力。
Introduce yourself by going up and saying “You look like you’re having a lot of fun so I wanted to come and say Hi!”This is effective because it exudes confidence and charisma.