有一个词你或许一直在使用。它是一个看起来无害的单词——事实上近乎无意义——但它正在慢慢地破坏你的人际关系。
There’s this word that you probably use all the time. It’s a seemingly harmless word — close to meaningless, really — but it’s slowly, subversively tainting your relationships.
回头看一看你最近发给朋友的短信和邮件。如果他们看起来是这样，你就陷入了这个单词的陷阱：
Look back over any recent texts and emails you’ve sent to friends. If they look something like this, you’re caught in this word’s trap:
“我很想出去玩！但我真的太忙了。”
“I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.”
“抱歉我没有及时回复你！我太忙了。”
“Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been so busy.”
“我最近怎么样吗？像往常一样忙！”
“What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!”
你猜到了。这个破坏关系的单词就是“忙”。让我们来讨论一下三个和“忙”说再见的原因。
You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is BUSY. Let’s discuss the top three reasons it’s time to be done with “busy”.
1.每个人都很忙。
1. Everyone is busy.
如今，说你很忙基本上就等于说你活着。这个单词本身已经没有任何实际的意思，基本变得毫无意义——毫无意义的语言是人际关系的问题，因为它不能让其他人明白你具体在经历什么。它事实上阻碍了相互理解。
These days, saying you’re busy is basically like saying you’re alive. The word itself no longer relates to any specific, making it basically meaningless — and meaningless language is a problem for relationships because it doesn’t help other people understand what, specifically, you’re going through. It actually impedes mutual understanding.
2.它导致了（消极的）揣测。
2. It’s open to (negative) interpretation.
“我很忙”具有模糊的属性，它让你时间被占用的真实原因成为朋友的揣测。它导致其他人填补你真实意图的空白。通常情况下，他们会用消极的揣测来填补这个空白。在最差的情况下，你们朋友或许会觉得“忙”只是不必说原因而应付他们的借口。
The vague nature of “I’m really busy” leaves the real reason why you’re being unavailable to a friend open to interpretation. It allows others to fill in the blank of your true intentions. Often, they will fill that blank with a negative assumption. In a worst-case scenario, friends may feel like your “busy” is a way of blowing them off without having to state a reason for doing so.
3.它意味着“现在不行”。
3. It means “not right now.”
通常情况下，“忙”仅仅意味着你目前有比见朋友更重要的事。当别人邀请你参加某件事时，说“现在不行”会扼杀人际关系因为它会使人产生被拒绝的感觉。“忙”和“现在不行”是等同的。它缺少为他人的考虑，因此疏远了彼此的距离。
Often, “busy” simply means that you have higher priorities right now than seeing friends. Saying “not right now” when someone tries to engage with you is a relationship killer because it fosters a feeling of rejection. “Busy” is the friendship equivalent of “not right now.” It lacks a sense of caring about the other person and fosters distance as a result.